Yowane Haku: True Vocaloid?
by Akari Hoshizora
Summary: Haku doesn't enjoy her concerts because of the mixed reception she gets. She sees herself as the "failed" version of Miku she was designed to be, but is she really?


_Author's Notes: The following story is based on a dream I had. I do not do any "fan-shipping" between Kaito and Haku; I decided to base it as closely to what I remembered of my dream, and it just happened to have Kaito._

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><p>Haku sat backstage on a crate, tears gathering at the corners of her dark crimson eyes. Off to her side, she could hear the crowd giving a mixture of cheers and booing at the same time. Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, she raised her hands and covered her ears, pressing hard. Her long, silvery hair acted as a cushion of sorts, keeping the skin of her hands from touching the skin of her ears. Maybe her hair could act like her earphones, muffling the sounds of the crowd just like her earphones drowned out all the other sounds when recording new albums and songs.<p>

This always happened at her concerts. The audience was never fully satisfied by her performances, no matter what she did.

Yowane Haku was originally made as a "failure". She was created as a personification of the bad songs of Hatsune Miku, to preserve Miku's good reputation. However, she had gained enough fans to become an unofficial fan-made Vocaloid herself. This was why her audience at concerts was always cheering and booing her. If she sang well, her fans were happy but others would complain that this went against her nature as the "failed" version of Miku and thus was no longer truly Haku. If she sang badly, her fans were upset but the rest were more content with her.

There was no way to please her audiences. No matter where she went, her audiences would always boo and cheer her simultaneously. It had been this was as long as she could remember, and she hated it. There was no getting used to it like she'd hoped long ago.

"Haku, you okay?" a voice asked, and she looked up to see Kaito, an official Vocaloid. Sniffling, she wiped the tears from her eyes and nodded.

"Um, yeah, I'm fine," she lied, taking a deep, shuddery breath to stop herself from sobbing and make her voice sound a little more normal. Ironic, she thought, that I'm trying to sound "normal" when I don't even understand what my version of "normal" is. "Kaito, what are you doing here?"

"I'm performing tomorrow," he replied. "I was told to come here a day early by accident." Craning his neck to look in the direction of the stage, he asked, "So, what's with the audience? I haven't heard any that cheer and boo like that before."

"Oh, it's no big deal," Haku said with a faux cheerfulness. "They're just a bit upset, that's all. It happens all the time." As soon as she said it she regretted it; Kaito shot her a sharp look, frowning.

"You're supposed to try to make them cheer, not boo," he muttered. "That's the job of a Vocaloid. You should try harder." Haku nodded, as if she were taking it to heart, but at the same time she felt her heart fall a little.

"Yeah, I know," she said. "Thanks for the advice!" However, though she pretended to sound sincere about it, she did not feel that way at all. Kaito simply did not understand her predicament; he didn't have people complaining about his songs the way people complained about hers. What was she supposed to try harder to do? Try harder to be good to please fans and deviate from her original purpose, or try harder to be bad and please those who supported her as the failed version of Miku? It was an impossible predicament.

Abruptly she stood up, clenching her hands into fists at her side, her head bowed. Wordlessly she walked past Kaito, who looked at her in surprise for a moment before speaking. "Haku, where are you going? Don't you still have some business to do now that the concert's over?" She stopped, and glanced back at him, giving him another fake smile, this time with a hint of apology.

"Could you please tell the crew I had to leave?" she asked. "I have to go now and take care of some other business." Without waiting for him to answer, she turned and began running away, her long ponytail waving around behind her with every step like a long banner.

"Haku, wait!" Kaito called, but she didn't stop, she just kept running. Before he could do anything, though, a member of the crew came over to him.

"Excuse me, but do you know where Haku is?" he asked, and Kaito groaned with annoyance. He couldn't chase after her now.

Bunching as much hair up atop her head as she could, Haku tried to pin it in place before finally having to give up. Her hair was too long to pin up and stuff under a hat, and she couldn't cut it. She was a Vocaloid; her hair was always going to be super-long like this, and it could never regrow if cut. With that in mind, she instead let her hair out of its normal ponytail and hang loose, and she attached some fake extensions of multiple colors she'd gotten a few weeks ago. She then used a clip to pull her bangs to the side and out of her face.

With a change of outfit into a pale yellow V-neck with short sleeves and a brown pleated skirt. and a pair of red-framed glasses, she barely looked like herself anymore. Instead, she was transformed into a bit of a shy, quiet girl.

Feeling adequately disguised, Haku left her room, walking through the lab she called home to the back door. Pushing it open, she walked into the night, and found herself in an alleyway. This was the way she left the building every time. She walked through the alleyway and into a street, and joined the crowds of the various people who roamed the city in the evenings and night. No one gave her a second look like they normally would; she was just an ordinary girl now.

Soon she stopped and turned into a doorway, pushing open the glass door as she walked in. The inside was somewhat dimly lit, with people crowded at tables scattered around the room and a small stage with a spotlight on it in the back. A large man wearing a bandana and a bright green shirt proclaiming "Sing SingDream" stood behind a counter, and flashed her a smile.

"Well, if it isn't Matsuri Shiroshi!" he exclaimed brightly. "Here to sing?"

"Of course," Haku replied, smiling. The man nodded, and in a few minutes she was up on the stage at the microphone, smiling at the audience. The regulars regarded her with familiarity and support as music began playing. Smiling, she closed her eyes as she listened to the beginning instrumental. It was _Rainbow Butterfly_, one of her favorites. Opening her eyes slowly, she began singing.

"Soft clouds hide the moon at night,

When the sky is filled with stars…"

She put her heart into the song, letting bits of her soul flow out of her mouth with each syllable she sang. No one was judging her as Yowane Haku, they just saw her as an ordinary girl who liked to sing, rather than a Vocaloid originally designed as the "bad" version of Hatsune Miku. Here, she could be herself and not have to fear the usual conflict of cheers and displeasure she usually heard at her ordinary concert.

As she sang, she felt the pressure rise from her shoulders and her heavy heart slowly grew lighter. Was this how the _real_ Vocaloids felt when they sang? It was a nice feeling, one she couldn't feel anywhere else.

As she finished the song, Haku closed her eyes as she took in the clapping and applause from the small crowd who were at the karaoke bar. Smiling, she bowed politely and stepped off the stage, and several people smiled at her.

"Good job, Shiroshi-san," one man said.

"You sounded beautiful as always," gushed one girl.

"Oh, thank you so much," she replied sincerely, feeling herself blush a little.

"Yes, you were amazing, Shiroshi-san," said a familiar voice, and she turned around in surprise to see a boy with blue eyes wearing a red cap and green coat smiling at her. Despite the outfit, his voice gave away his identity to her.

"Oh, um, thank you," she muttered, feeling surprised and unsure how to react to his sudden appearance.

"Why don't we sit at a table so we can talk in privacy?" he suggested, and she nodded. They walked over to a table in a corner where they wouldn't be disturbed, and he smiled. "So, what's with this 'Shiroshi' business, Haku?"

"Don't call me that here!" she hissed. "They don't know who I really am, Kaito!" The other Vocaloid smiled and nodded.

"You do look a bit different," he noted, nodding. "No one could recognize you in that. It's just not you, you know?"

"That's the idea," she sighed. "How did you find me?"

"We're Vocaloids," he explained with a smile, tapping his head with one finger. "We're not exactly human, you know. The scientists put tracking devices in us. I figured out how to use mine to track the others, so I just tracked yours."

"That figures," Haku groaned, glancing away with a somewhat bored face as she leaned back in her chair. "You really love messing with the tech stuff like that, don't you?"

"Hey, I'm an older model than you," he replied, smiling. "I was alone for a while except for Meiko, and she's not exactly the best company since she loves sake so much. I had to do something in that time other than eat ice cream." Leaning forward with a somewhat carefree smile, he asked, "So, what are you doing here, anyway?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she muttered. "Singing."

"You just had a concert tonight, though," he said. "Why'd you come to a karaoke club to perform?"

"Because they don't judge me," she replied, and pushed her chair back as she got up. "Just watch." Without waiting for him to answer, she walked over to the nearest table and asked the four teenagers sitting there, "Hey, what do you think about that Vocaloid singer Yowane Haku?"

"I wish I could sing like her," one girl sighed dreamily. "She's so fabulous."

"Yeah, but she's not supposed to be," a boy wearing glasses interjected, frowning. "She exists as a failure. She's meant to be the bad Hatsune Miku."

"She's not Hatsune Miku, though," another boy argued. Within moments the group was equally divided as they argued over her, and Haku walked back to Kaito with her head bowed over.

"See?" she muttered, not looking up as she took her seat again. Kaito looked at the group in surprise, and then back at her.

"Is that why the crowd was cheering and booing at the concert hall?" he asked after a moment. "Because they, uh…"

"Yes," Haku sighed sadly, laying her head down on the table, nestling it in her folded arms. "You don't get what it's like because you're one of the official Vocaloids. I was originally designed as an excuse for bad songs created by producers using Miku's voice bank. Some people just started using certain pitches of Miku's voice to create songs and passed it off as songs sung by Yowane Haku, and they just got popular enough for the company that published the Vocaloid 2 voice banks to make me an 'official' derivative. No one can be totally content with me. Wherever I go as Yowane Haku, I'm doomed to create arguments."

Sighing, she closed her eyes and continued, "After one really bad concert, I put on a disguise so I could go out to a bar or something to be alone and not be recognized. I came in here on a whim, not even realizing it was a karaoke place. I was just a little drunk, so I decided to sing here. When I went up on the small stage to sing, I was amazed to see that no one was judging me as Yowane Haku anymore. They saw me as just another girl who happened to have a really good voice. Ever since then, I've been coming here secretly when I'm upset." Smiling a little, she added, "This is the only place I feel like I can really sing without having to worry about the audience, where I can feel like a Vocaloid."

There was a small thunk, and she raised her head just enough so her eyes could peek out over her arms to see a small toy on the table. To her surprise, it was a small, plastic figurine with long white hair put up in a black-and-purple ribbon, giant red eyes, and a variation of a school uniform using a gray midriff top, black pants, a purple belt, and detached black sleeves with purple on the edges. Most surprising about it was the calm look on her face, which seemed just a little worried, but still so calm.

"I came looking for you to give you this," Kaito explained. "It's an official figure of you. The Good Smile Company manufactured a lot of them. They didn't give me one of the figures of, well, me, though, so I went to buy one today. While at the store, I saw they had all the other Vocaloid figures and decided to buy one of each in case no one else got one either."

"Wait, I have a figure?" Haku said, having apparently heard nothing he'd just said. Kaito smiled a little and nodded, though a little bashfully.

"Um, yeah," he replied, laughing a little nervously, "Everyone does. As I was saying, I had to buy mine and decided to buy one for all the others, since I figured they didn't get one."

"I have a figure?" Haku repeated, again ignoring him. "Why do I have a figure when I'm not a Vocaloid like the rest of you?" Suddenly Kaito put both hands on her shoulders and looked at her seriously, surprising her.

"Don't ever say that!" he snapped, frowning. "Look, your voice bank may just be based off of Miku's, but you're still a Vocaloid! Don't ever act like you're not! Just think how your fans would be feel if they heard you talk like that!" Releasing his grip on her shoulders, he leaned back but still stared at her, his blue eyes piercing right her. "You're right, I don't understand what it's like to be a 'failed' version of another Vocaloid, or what it's like to have audiences at concerts who both cheer and boo at you after every song. But still, you shouldn't mope around about it. You have fans who worry about you!"

"My… fans…?" Haku repeated slowly. Her fans. The ones who cheered at her concerts and argued in support of her. Though she hadn't really thought about it that much, she realized Kaito was right: they were her fans. She had fans, and they cared about her. "My… fans…" Slowly she smiled, and said it one more time, this time sounding more confident. "My fans. My fans… need me…"

"Yes!" Kaito cried, and leaned back in his seat as if feeling exhausted. "They need you to be strong! So you can't mope around!" Straightening in his seat, he pushed his chair back and stood up. "Listen, I have to get back now and do some rehearsals. But remember, don't be so upset." Turning, he left her alone at the table, staring at the small figurine. She bent over and tapped it with one finger, regarding with curiosity. It was strange, seeing this mini-version of herself in plastic; it was kind of cute. Why hadn't she heard about it before? Wasn't the company supposed to get her permission before making figures or something, or at least give her some sort of notice about it?

This little figure standing on the table in front of her was proof that her fans cared about her. There had been enough demand for it to be made. Haku wondered if maybe at that very moment there was some little child looking at it with adoration as she sang along to a recording of one of her songs. Though the fact that she was thinking about it made her sound like she had an ego, she really didn't. This was the first time she'd allowed herself the luxury of thinking that something like that could actually be happening.

"Hey, Shiroshi-san," a voice said, and she looked up to see one of the girls from the nearby table. "Why did you ask about Yowane Haku, anyway? Are you a fan, too, or something?" Haku gave her a little smile as she grabbed the figure.

"Yeah, I guess I am," she replied, getting up from her seat. "I have to go now, but thanks so much!" She then walked away, leaving the girl puzzled over why she'd thanked her. Nodding at the man behind the counter as she walked through the door, she stopped outside briefly to look at the small figure of herself again. She then broke into a big smile and began walking home, allowing herself to mix into the crowd of the pedestrians who roamed the streets at night once again.

The spotlights nearly blinded her, but she was used to them. Haku waited for the final instrumental part of the song to end before bowing. Turning, she left the stage to applause and a chorus of displeasure, but she did not care for the latter part of the audience. All that mattered to her was the opinions of her true fans. She'd sung her best, and she'd been rewarded: her fans were cheering. Nodding to the crew and staff of the concert hall, she walked to her dressing room and took a seat at the vanity.

On the vanity, the small figure of her received from Kaito stood in its usual position. This was her first concert since getting it, and she felt like it was a good luck charm. She smiled at it and patted it on its little head. For the first time since she began performing concerts, she pleased with herself. It felt like she was free of a heavy burden or something. Thanks to that talk she'd had with Kaito, she felt like that a lot lately.

It was a very nice feeling.


End file.
